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Saturday, June 13, 2009


Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purposes" It occurred to me yesterday while writing this post that I have yet to share my spiritual journey. I did not start this blog with the intention of talking about myself. I originally started it to keep an account of the daily lives of our two small children. As I delve deeper and deeper into the blog world I become more and more inspired by my Sisters-in-Christ. I subscribe to several blogs that are written by Christian Stay-at-Home moms, you can find them on the side bar on my blog roll. Of those many blogs that I subscribe to my favorite is MckMama's. Not only is she the supermom of the blog world, but she is also the strongest Christian Women I have heard about in a long time. Her faith has transcended many obstacles in the past two years. If you don't know Stellan's Story already, please head on over there and read it. It's amazing the things that the McKFamily have gone through and yet continue to be Rocks for Christ. This {my friends} is why I've decided to share my spiritual journey. My spiritual journey started when I was very young. My parents took me to church every Sunday since I was born. I went to Sunday school, Joy Club, Vacation Bible School. I asked Jesus into my heart one Sunday morning in 1988. I was five years old. Back then being Christ's child was easy. I memorized my bible verses, obeyed my parents, went to church on Sundays, shared the love of Jesus with my friends, and believed without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus Christ came to this earth to die on the cross and pardon our sins. Life was good. Then in 1994 my parents decided they needed to separate. Life was not so good. I blamed God, myself, and least of all my parents. My Dad packed up his worldly belongings one dreary morning and moved across town. Our lives changed. My mom and I still went to church every Sunday, but my Dad was not there. I still went to Joy Club, but my Dad was not there. We still did all of the same things we had always done, but my Dad was not there. I saw him every other weekend. A year after they separated D-Day. I was in fifth grade. Overtime I came to realize that it wasn't God's fault. It was really the fault of my parents and their sins. My dad came and picked me up every other weekend and we did fun things together until I started eighth grade. My mom met a man (who I am honored to call my stepfather now) hated back then. He took us on fun outings to the beach, roller blading, on camping trips. At this same time my father was dating a young woman half his age. He stopped picking me up on the weekends, we stopped hanging out, he stopped coming to my after school activities. My mom got married the summer of my eighth grade year. I was her M.O.H, but was completely unhappy that she was marrying another man. We went to Disneyland two weeks after she got back from her honeymoon. It didn't make me feel any better. In the fall of my freshman year in high school, one of my friends walked up to me and said, " I hear your dad is getting hitched, congrats." This was the first that I had heard about it. It made me angry. I was angry my entire high school career.I was the most horrific teenage girl the world has ever seen.I was rebellious, mean, selfish, boastful, rude, and lazy. I hated the world.I hated God. I did things that I knew were unacceptable. I drank, I partied, I snuck out of the house. Then in my senior year of High School, I got pregnant. I hid it for 7 months. I was a fairly petite girl, so I didn't show until then. I was afraid, alone, and didn't know where to turn. I had morning sickness every minute of everyday. Finally after one day (graduation) my mom asked me and I didn't lie. Thus began my reconnection with Christ. There was a very big decision to be made and I need His wisdom to make it. I moved over to my Aunt Sue's house in Grass Valley where I would give birth to my baby. I prayed and studied and prayed and studied. After a month of praying and studying, I decided that God was asking me to give the little person who was living inside me to a family who wanted a child but was unable to conceive. The decision was made a day before the baby was to arrive. I called Bethany Christian Services in Modesto, CA. I chose a family from a few portfolios that I had seen, and the baby ( Birth Name: Nathaniel Lee Van Pelt) was put in interim care until the Van Holten Family was able to pick him up. I was very at peace with the decision I had made because of one bible verse that stood out at me the entire time I was praying and studying. Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purposes" The adoption was kept open which means that I receive letters and photos from the family and William Nathaniel Van Holten (adoption name) has been told the story of his birth mother since he was just a baby. I decided it was time to go to college. I enrolled in Shasta College in Redding, CA. I spent two semesters there and decided it wasn't where I wanted to be. I moved home. I attended classes at College of the Redwoods in Fort Bragg for a semester. Then I fell on my face again and called upon God to help me get back up again. At the age of 21, I was pregnant again. This time it would be different. I would keep this child. Again, I studied and prayed and asked for forgiveness of my sin. On October 30, 2004 at 10:45 pm, Mr. A arrived. I was blessed to have family and friends to stand by my side. God blessed me in ways that I will never forget. My Step-Father became Mr. A's male role model. He fell in love with him and has loved him ever since like he was his own. My mom said "I knew I was going to love him, but I didn't know I was going to love him this much" the first time she held him. We all cried together. It was beautiful. Yet, it was not what God had intended. At times being a single parent was hard. I worked two jobs to support our two person family. I cleaned the house on the weekends. I missed some of Mr. A's milestones because I was working. We were still somehow blessed by God through it all. I prayed and studied more than I ever have then. I prayed for a man to come into our lives. I prayed day in and day out that God would send me a husband. Then in April 2007 Hubby came to be the minister at our church. In December pastor (aka Hubby) asked me if I had a stress reliever and I said not really, so he suggested that we go Kayaking at Big River. So we did. He brought sandwiches and we kayaked up the river, talked, ate, and then he brought me back to my parents house. The invited him up to Tahoe with us for a weekend in January. He accepted. While we were in Tahoe, Mr. A, Nana, and I got the flu. We all were throwing up for 24 hours straight. Then Hubby came. He helped clean up after Mr. A in the middle of the night. He washed sheets, dishes, floors. After all of us got better Hubby and I went down and took a hot tub together in. We talked for a very long time about our past. I told him of William. He told me about struggles he had. All-in-All we had a very nice chat and slowly we were falling in love. The next day we took Mr. A to play in the snow, We had snow ball fights, drug him around on the sled, and had an all around good time. Hubby took photos of us.Then he had to say goodbye. Two weeks later I received a text message from Hubby. "Wanna go to out to dinner this week?" And that's how the Story of Us began. And through it all Romans 8:28 still sounds loud and clear in my heart. Look at we are now! God most certainly works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose!

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Thank you for stopping by. Words of encouragement are always welcome. I will try to encourage you as well!